The Cancer Shower Origin Story

When I was diagnosed with cancer in March 2023 my first impulse was to tell no one and take care of it on my own. Which was very on-brand, I’m independent to a fault.

But the reality of cancer, and any hard and heavy thing in life, is this: YOU NEED HELP.

So, I thought a lot about help in the early days of my diagnosis. 

And the shame so many of us feel—myself included—when we have to say “I’ve got something major going on right now and I need support.”

Why do we find it so difficult to be open about needing help with the hard stuff but we don’t hesitate to invite people to support us when we’re celebrating the good stuff?

We don’t think twice about throwing housewarming parties, big number birthday parties, wedding showers, baby showers, even new business showers. We send out invitations that include links to registries and requests for contributions.

But we don’t do the same with cancer, chronic illness, or major surgery.

And that’s when we need it most.

So, in an effort to normalize asking for help and being specific about what we need not only when we’re celebrating traditional life milestones but also when we’re slogging through some of the hardest stuff imaginable, I invited everyone I knew to my virtual Cancer Shower.

Since the best showers always have a great theme (which I knew because I’ve organized at least five of them), I invited the world to my virtual SUPERPOWER CANCER SHOWER, inspired by my cancer-smashing avatar Steampunk She-Hulk.

And because the worst part of any shower is the embarrassing games guests are forced to play, my Superpower Cancer Shower had engaging online workshops instead.

Workshops that helped guests unlock superpowers like Storytelling, Intuition, Resilience, Leadership, and Motivation.

In June 2023, my superhero friends Marsha Shandur, Sara Smeaton, Jackie Johnstone, Michelle Rothstein, Tamar Kagan, and Tinka Markham Piper hosted incredible workshops that helped my global community unleash these life-affirming superpowers.

All while I was recovering from the hysterectomy, bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy, and lymph node sampling that was required to treat my cancer.

We did it because hulk-smashing the shame so strongly associated with asking for help is long overdue.

And because getting the help you need, when you need it, not only helps you cross the threshold from single to married, from adult to partner to parent, from renter to homeowner, from 49 to 50, it can also save your life.