In June 2023, my friends threw me a Cancer Shower.

I had just been diagnosed with endometrial cancer, and I was self-employed without paid sick leave or disability benefits.

The prognosis was good but treatment required major surgery, likely radiation, and possibly chemo…the full treatment plan would only be known once the post-op pathology report was in hand. As an entrepreneur, that uncertainty—not knowing how long I was going to be away from my consulting work and only source of income—was as stressful as the cancer diagnosis.

Despite initially saying, “NO THANK YOU, I’M FINE” to offers of help, an incredible group of friends set up a GoFundMe campaign on my behalf to cover living expenses, medical costs not covered by Canada’s public health care, and supplemental and supportive care like pelvic floor physio, naturopathic and nutrition therapy, and just regular old talk therapy (because cancer is a trip).

I was deeply grateful.

And I felt a lot of shame about needing help at all.

And even more shame about receiving the help my family, friends and community were so eager to give.

Which, honestly, was bonkers because…

We don’t feel any shame asking for and receiving gifts of money and material goods (we register for) when we get married, buy a house, or have a baby.

Why do we feel so much shame asking for help—and being specific about what we need—when we’re struggling with something difficult like cancer?

Those reflections got me fired up about fighting the cancer and disrupting how we ask for and receive help—and how we feel about it—when things are really hard.

So, I went back to my smart and generous friends and asked:

“What if we threw a Cancer Shower that benefited me and the people attending the Shower? And what if, instead of having silly and embarrassing shower games , we hosted life-affirming and skill-building workshops?”

They said, “we love it…LET’S DO IT!”

And the first ever online Cancer Shower was born.